Personal Scale Malfunction
by Chef Craig Noche
Like most people, I jumped on my scale some point after the holidays and was surprised to discover my scale was not recording my proper weight. If this happens to you on occasion, don’t panic, it’s just a common case of Personal Scale Malfunction, aka PSM. It’s not your fault.
My scale is kind of old, so I went down to my local home store and looked for a new one. Personal scales have really advanced in technology since I bought my old one. They have glass ones, digital memory computer ones, and even talking ones. I tried them all, plus many more at some other stores, only to discover Personal Scale Malfunction had ebbed its way into the new scale markets too. It seemed to me this could be more than just a local and regional problem. It might just be a national, and maybe even a global problem.
What environmental circumstances could be causing worldwide Personal Scale Malfunction? Melting icebergs? An increase in gravitational pull? Pandas mating in captivity? Something was throwing the natural balance of our universe out of whack causing this phenomenon. I was determined to find out.
I searched the Internet and I went to the library. I didn’t find anything on Personal Scale Malfunction but I did find more people with the same experiences. The librarian and some of the people in the library were also experiencing Personal Scale Malfunctions. I could find solace only in the comfort of knowing my personal scale doesn’t talk.
I spent more hours than I care to remember on hold, calling every state, federal, and international government office that might be responsible for researching this natural phenomenon. For the most part, they tried to pretend like they didn’t know what I was talking about, yet one high-level receptionist did confirm she was also experiencing Personal Scale Malfunction.
I happened to mention it in the office and a co-worker suggested I speak to one of our friendly and knowledgeable Nutritional Consultants. I picked up my checkbook and went right over. Of course, they knew all about it. I learned that the foods we eat, as well as the calories we burn over a period of time, have a direct effect on Personal Scale Malfunction. Better yet, they also had the cure. It seems the foods we eat, as well as the calories we burn, also repair Personal Scale Malfunction, and in a relatively short amount of time if you do it right.
With my quest over, I was surprised to find out my nutritional consultation was free! Wow, I thought that was a really cool employee benefit but apparently they provide this service for anyone interested in learning more about nutrition, including diabetic and low-sodium meal planning. You just have to call them at 1-800-749-1170 and there will be one available and waiting for your call. Free personal nutritional advice and I didn’t have to buy a new talking scale ... I’m off to a great start.
New Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Meal Plans
And, of course, it wouldn’t be DineWise if it weren’t easy to start. We have all new pre-measured weight loss meal plans that include breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You can also find nutritional meal plans for people with diabetes and people on low-sodium diets. DineWise also has new meal plans for people who aren’t necessarily on a diet but like to maintain a healthy lifestyle, which is probably the best way to prevent Personal Scale Malfunction.
So now, armed with DineWise, my Nutritional Consultants, and a fork, I am ready to restore the natural balance back to my body and my scale. How about you? Please join DineWise and me on this mission to stamp out the phenomenon of Personal Scale Malfunction for good.
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